His Lady

I have just have so many things on my mind lately from love to career. Sometimes I ask myself am I making the right decisions or am I going the wrong way... I have been reading this book by TD Jakes named His Lady and it covers some of everything that you could feel from anxiety to worrying and it gives you a scripture to go with it. Well this morning I was just emotionally all over the place and I got to the section of the book about "longing" and how we wait for things and how our minds just focus on that one thing so much that we lose sight of everything else. The verse that went with it was from Luke 11:9-10 and reads "And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks receives. Everyone who seeks, finds." And the door is always opened to evryone who knocks." Well I felt slapped in the face. Sometimes we can take a situation and just focus on it so much until it feels like our eyeballs are going to pop out of our head. I mean really. I am so glad that my relationship with God is so special that he knows just how to reach me and when to reach me. I could not sleep last night worrying about a situation and a certain aspect of my life but now I feel at peace because I know that God has placed what I need to do in my heart. Often times we lead with our minds and think we know everything and guess what.... We mess it up worse than what we did before but God always looks at our hearts and maybe it is time I pay a little mroe attention to what is in mine and focus on that and not what I think all the time. Textbooks prepare me for work but the Bible prepares me for life and maybe I should spend a little more time reading that than other things. I am finding out so many things about myself that I never knew before by just spending a little quality time with God.

Death

Death has seemed to attack my family this week. Two deaths in two days both sudden and tragic. It seems like a movie and then when the credits roll everything goes back to normal but undoubtedly the movie is still playing. Then on top of all of that a friend sent a prayer request email for a friend of hers who's mother is in the hospital and not doing all that well. I can only imagine what she feels like or what she is thinking or how her reactions are because I have never gone through anything like that with my mother. Generally a mother is the backbone of the family. The comforter, counselor, cook, maid, etc so how can one react and deal when the source of their being is now depending upon them for strength. My friend has lost both her mother and her father and from what I can tell they were great people because she has a beautiful spirit and has been a great friend to me but I know how big her heart is and that she is constantly reminded of her own loss when other situations strike that are close to her. There are really no words you can say to a person to make it all better or to ease the pain or stress. Sometimes it is like you just want to look up at God and throw your hands up and say what now. WE generally do not understand his motives until after the fact but still in the moment it is hard to stay faithful to the Word when everything seems to be going all wrong. The only thing I can offer to her right now is prayer that Gods will be done for her and her mother and that they have strength to endure whatever it is he decides and gives them a sense of peace over the decision. Love you guys!!!