Love is

First official post of the New Year and this one seems to be a monster. I was having a conversation with an ex a few weeks ago and he asked me a question that he never just came out and asked before, at least not like that. He said plain and simple "Tomecca, how did you know that you did not love me any more?" Looking like a deer in headlights I assumed he was asking me because the one he is with now must be showing the same signs and symptoms because we have no interest in being together any more so I just listened. I said I just knew. See, the older I got, my requirements in life were different. I wanted something different and stable not only for myself but for my son. When you get older, you start to worry about different things. I no longer had the time to worry about if he was dead or alive, or if he was coming home, who was watching and why, where he was or who he was with. He made sure that I was taken care of but at what cost. I just didn't want to deal with it any more. He has a heart of gold but no matter how good a person may be, sometimes the bad things they do out shine their good. After some silence, he said "what is love to you then if it is not being financially stable?" I could not get my thoughts together and actually I had to really sit down and think about it. I told him it was not that I did not love him while I was with him it was just not the kind of love to build a life upon. Last night through text with someone else I began to think about the question again. Love is when a man loves God and puts that relationship first and is not afraid to share that with you, pray for you, or even pray with you. Love is when a man is at his weariest and gets up to put in extra hours on his job or even gets a second job to make sure the family is taken care of. Love is when he strives to be at his best before he gets with you. Love is knowing all of the silly things that makes a person tick. You can be with a person forever and not know anything about them. I figured this out by asking my ex what my favorite color was or what one of my favorite songs was and after knowing me for almost 10 years, he had no clue. I was reading last night in Ephesians where it says that a wife should submit herself to her husband and then goes on to say that the husband should be the head of the wife as God is the head of the church. Not to quote that whole chapter it then says that a husband should love his wife like he loves his own body. I had my own stuff to figure out so where better to find the answer than in the Bible. I went online to find a detailed information so I would really know what is what and found this: These verses do not mean that a wife is supposed to be a slave to her husband. But the wife needs to submit herself to her husband as a partner in marriage. The husband and wife must be in agreement in order for a marriage to work, and they must learn how to communicate their feelings to each other. A wife should not make an important family decision without submitting it to her husband just as a husband should not make an important decision without considering his wife’s feelings and concerns. Now when I was with my ex that I referenced before, I could have cared less about what he thought if I did something. That did not mean that I did not ask him for opinion purposes but if I wanted to do something then I just did it with no regard for what he wanted or how he felt because that is how he treated me. Love is sacrifice and action, being obedient to Gods word. Love does not have a condition or a standard. You can not say I love him because he bought me a car or I love him because he has a good job. Real love is being able to accept a person for who they are not what they are. Love is when you are truly mad at someone or aggrevated with them or things are not all peachy like they were during the honeymoon phase and you know that person still cares for you and has your best interest at heart and will do anything to protect you whether it is physically or emotionally. Love is letting go of the fear of being hurt. What people fail to understand is that love hurts too but even when love hurts it doesn't leave. Love is beautiful. Love is forgiving..Sometimes we do not realize what love really is until it is too late....