I'm Back

It has been a long time since I have had the inspiration to write. There has been so much that has happened over the past few months. I guess both good and bad. I was looking on my Facebook page today and saw a quote that said "You can't move forward if you continue to look back." Now I have been struggling with this for a long time because I have a serious fear of the unknown. I also had someone tell me that it is easy to keep dealing with a situation when you have nothing else better to do. Say what now? I knew that for me because I would much rather try to fix a situation that I am already in versus start a new one. At some point in time you just have to start fresh. Pick up the pieces and move on. Easier said than done but if you look at it, we have all done it before and we were okay in the end. I have prayed about the situation and at the right time, I know God will give me an answer and I just have to step out and do what he leads my heart to do no matter what it is. I feel like he is already preparing my heart for the shift because the situation just doesn't bother me as much as it did before which is a sign that I know I am getting better. That is just a little nugget for you all tonight but I will discuss it more as the matter unfolds. Stay tuned. This is getting more interesting by the day.

Valentine's Day Memories

Valentine's Day was once one of my favorite days. Not because it is a day to show love because you should do that every day. It is because it was a day that you could just go all out and do something sweet for someone you love. One of my fondest memories was when I was dating someone that knew how much I loved the day so while we were together my day would always start out the same. He would have one of my co workers go and get my favorite breakfast and then that afternoon I would get flowers with a note. The note contained a clue as to what was to come later. I was always like a kid on Christmas on Vday. When I got my flowers that last year we were together he did something special. It did not take a lot of money but it definitely took a lot of time which made me feel special. That evening I found another note and it simply stated to meet him at one of my favorite places but to wear something comfortable. When I got there, there were candles, my favorite CD playing, a blanket, and my favorite dinner that he cooked himself. I had a late night picnic. We ate, talked and just had a great time and it meant more than everything else because he was normally one to buy jewelry and send flowers but that particular year he went all out just for me. It is not always about how much money you spend but sometimes it is about the thought. Sometimes just having that special moment with someone is what means the most. I hope everyone had a wonderful day and continue to love and be loved in return. This is actually part of an older post I did a few years ago.

I Said Yes

I know the title may throw some off but I am not speaking of marriage. I decided to say yes to myself. There has been so many times that I have put everyone else's needs before mine until I had nothing left to give. I no longer know how to feel any more. As a woman, it is often times in our nature to care for everyone else and put our needs aside but then I have to wonder who is going to take care of me? Who's going to love me? Who is going to put a smile on my face? For now, I do not mind being that person. I forgot how to love me and in turn I feel like I forgot how to be loved. I feel lost sometimes. I feel forgotten about in more ways than one. At any given moment, I am going to shut down completely and that is not good because I have been there before and I turned my back on the closest person to me. Sometimes I really miss that person. Some of my favorite moments were with them, especially on days like today. I have decided that for once in my life that I want to put myself first. No one will love me more than me and that was a hard lesson for me to learn. I love you guys but that is all for now. Just a little bit to get you through until next time.