Time is Precious

Over the course of my life I have learned so many things. One important thing that I have learned is to appreciate time. My childhood best friend has been sick off and on since we were kids and the doctors have told her that she may not have long to live. Only God knows her destiny but I am not sad because she taught me that time is precious. It wasn’t until the last few months that this revelation has come full circle but you get the picture. Her boyfriend expressed to me a few months ago that he wanted to get married but was unsure if he was ready because he was not financially where he wanted to be. This morning he proposed. I had the pleasure of speaking to him about an hour or so after it happened and I asked why now. He simply said “Tomecca, I know that I want to be with her 20 years from now but with her illness I am unsure that I have 20 days left. I have taken so much of her precious time away from her through my own selfishness of not being ready all the while all she wanted from me is for me to love her and be with her and keep her safe.” He told me this morning he woke up and looked over at her and realized there was no place he would rather be and he knew she was “the one.” At that very moment, I realized that I may not have 2 weeks from now to tell someone that I love them or go on that fabulous vacation that I have always longed to go on. She has taught me to cherish every moment and treat it like it is my last. God has given me 31 precious years with her and I treasure each moment with her down to the Halloween we dressed up as hookers and actually stood outside on the corner in our neighborhood and passed out candy to the days we were living the carefree life thinking 30 years old was ancient and that we would be wrinkled by now. Little did we know. I really want to be selfish and ask God to let her stay with me but I know her body is weary and she is tired. Whether he lets her stay with me for 3 more days or 30 more years I am blessed that he allowed her to be a part of my life for as long as she has. They are getting married as soon as they can get the license and her father is going to marry them. I think that is the most precious thing in the world to look at someone and just know that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. This has been a subject that I have kept to myself and it is hard for me to talk about so I just used writing as my outlet because I told her I would not cry… Little does she know in the beginning when I found out I cried daily BUT I am okay now because every morning when I wake up she sends me a text of nothing but a picture of her smile so I can not cry when every morning I wake up looking at teeth and lips. LOL!! Have a good day!!!

God Knows Me All Too Well

I have been meditating and praying on some things in my life and for some odd reason I have been waking up at around 4:30 every morning but it has allowed me to have some quiet time with God. Some much needed quiet time at that. I have been seeking him for a few months and he has sent me various bible verses all pertaining to the things I have been praying about but today was different. When I get up I always read my Daily Bible Verse and my email from Joel Osteen. Now Joel Osteens message seems like it was written just for me today. The message was from Isaiah 65:24 and then he went into detail by saying: Have you ever thought about something you wanted or needed, and suddenly that need was supplied even before you had time to stop and pray? God knows your needs before you even speak them. He wants to provide for you and answer the very desires of your heart. Don’t ever think God is too busy to answer you. Don’t ever think your needs are too small or that you don’t matter. The truth is that He cares about everything that concerns you, and He loves to hear you call upon His name! When you put Him first in everything you do, when you faithfully follow His commands, He’ll pour out an extra portion of His goodness and favor upon you! Remember, you are very special to God, and He hears you and answers you. It may not be in your timing or in the way you expected, but know that He always has your best interest at heart. He is working things out for your good, and He will always answer — sometimes before you even call! I felt like someone slapped me in the face. I had that are you kidding me right now look on my face. They took the words right out of my mouth. I have been praying about something and although the door has not fully opened there is a crack in it which I know is his doing and if it is for me then it will be for me. I continue to get the same messages over and over again and I was wondering why so I guess today he got tired of me asking and sent me an email confirmation. Until next time!!!

Sense of Peace

Some days are better than others and today is just not one of those days that I want to be bothered. I am just tired and ready for a break and not in the mood for talking and interacting. I have been praying and seeking God for some things in my life and for the first time in a long time I have a sense of peace about the direction that I am going. I no longer have questions or doubts or losing sleep or anything like that. When the desires of my heart aligned with the Word of God is when that sense of peace came. Just as long as I was losing sleep and stuff that is when I knew that I was not on the right path. Sometimes God will just let you sit there and come up with whatever it is YOU feel the need to come up with until you get it right. Then when you get it right he will let you know. See there were things and people that I had in my life that I needed to let go of before I could have the things in life that I wanted. I just had a problem with letting those people go but when I did I have no regrets and I do not look back. Some people talked too much and some didn't seem to talk enough but all in all the people who are in my life right now I love and cherish because I know they are supposed to be there. I have learned so many things about myself in the past few days but all in all those were things that I needed to know about me without talking to or being bothered with other people. I am good on the things that I want and need though and for once I finally feel like I am getting it right. Until next time!!!

Explosion

Some days I feel like my mind is going to explode. Some days I feel like I know too much and some I feel like I do not know enough. There has been something that has been weighing heavily on my heart for a long time and I have asked God for guidance and I feel like he has finally given me an answer but I have no clue how to execute. Then out of all things I am contemplating going back to school again because I just do not have anything else better to do I guess plus I have a retirement plan and the doctoral degree will come in handy with that. I always feel like I need to have a life plan although nothing ever seems to work out the way I want it to but God has the best plan in the world for me and I think that I will stick with that one. Things always make sense in our mind but you know how that is. God says one thing and we are determined to do what we want until he shuts that down. I guess for me right now I have been doing a lot of praying and reading the Bible and keeping to myself. That is the best thing. I cloud my own mind with madness I do not need any help from anyone else because I have learned that people do not always have your best interest at heart so you might as well not even bother with telling them. Well I am going to go to bed and relax my mind. Tomorrow is a new day!!!!

Saying Goodbye

Why is saying goodbye so hard to do even when we know it is the right thing to do? There has been someone in my life that I should have let go a long time ago but I couldn't because we were always such close friends. When I say close I mean really close. I told this person everything and we went through so much together but there were just certain things about the situation that I knew were not right and I know that God is keeping my blessing because of it. I was told on three separate occasions by three different prophets that there was someone in my life that I needed to let go and in my heart I knew who it was but I was just not ready to say goodbye. There were just so many different things that were running through my head and my heart that I just did not know what to do until now. People are in your lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I can not have my lifetime person if I continue holding on to my seasonal person. They have fulfilled their purpose in my life and I am comfortable with moving on. I am at peace with my decision whereas I was not before. When you do the right thing God will give you a sense of peace and that is what I now have and I can move on in my life with a clean heart.