Wow, Really?

You know how I said a few days back that God had been sending me the same Bible verse over and over again so I decided to spend some personal time talking to him abut the verse and I did what the verse said do. Lately since I have had a little chat with him, the things I discussed were starting to appear. Not in full manifestation but to let me know that he heard me and if I stayed faithful and prayerful that he would bring what he promised me to pass. Sometimes it is hard to listen to God. If you refer back to the first sentence, you will see that he has to send me the same verse 3 times for me to be like "Oh, I get it?".. I guess he knows that I am a little slow sometimes. I am glad that I serve a God that knows me personally. I am not the type to always get it when I read something or hear it but when I get an email I am on it and all three times the verse came to me through email. Gotta get to you the way that suits you best. One day I will reveal what I have spoken to God about but not now. Will keep you in suspense like he does me. Until next time.

On Time God or Right Now God

I have been emailing a good friend of mine back and forth this morning just talking about some things in life. We do not have to go into detail about what is going on but a nice conversation about God is needed sometimes. I remember a time when I would hang out with her and we were all about getting to the club on the weekend and not really worried about much else. We just lost contact. No reason why. No one was mad or we didn't have a falling out or anything. Well I am convinced that god separated us to deal with each other as individuals before he brought us back together as friends. We are on some different stuff right now than we were before you know. We have different worries and different goals and God brought us back together when he felt it was right not when we wanted to. Why is that so hard to grasp in just every day life? I know that God has promised me something because he has sent me the same message a million and one times but in the back of my mind some days I am like why can't I have it now. It kinda makes you feel like someone is dangling your favorite candy in your face but tells you that you can not have any right now, you have to wait until later. How do we know that if we eat the candy right then that it will not make us sick but if we wait until later when the food has settled then we can enjoy it. Simple analogy but that is how God is. We want a right now God instead of an on time God. God wants to give us the desires of our heart but only when all parties are ready and if it is in his will. If it is in his will for you then you will definitely know. All you have to do is ask and he will tell you. He has told me plain as day but still the selfish side of me just does not want to wait knowing I need to. I guess we have to learn the hard way because God will let us have what we want sometimes when we want it just to show us his power and that we need to wait on him. Lord knows I am glad he makes me wait on some things because I would be in a hot mess if I didn't. It says in the Bible that you should wait on the Lord. Sometimes waiting is not easy but it is best...

Discouraged

Have you ever just been so discouraged that you just don't know what to do? I have been feeling that way lately and I do not know why. I know what God promised me but as the days go by it seems like it is getting farther and farther away. Test of my faith maybe.. Well some days I will get an F... Sometimes I wonder how can I have faith in a situation that seems to be all to pieces all the time. I asked God a question, he gave me an answer and no one says that all is going to be well in the land after he says ok. It could take a year to come to pass or it could take a few days. I know God knows what is best for me but it is hard to keep your eyes on the prize when it keeps moving all around. LOL It is really time for me to stop doubting my God because he is not giving me what I want when I want it. He may just be getting everything ready for me to have and when it is time and the timer goes off then I can have it. Not a second before. I guess I should just stop being pitiful and prepare myself for the things GOd has in store for me. Had to give myself a pep talk today.. Lord help. LMBO... I am truly a mess some days...

Blah

Have you just ever had those moments where you feel blah? There just really is no word for it other than that. I have just been in a keep to myself kinda mood lately because when you deal with things sometimes your business is just that... Your business. There is no need to talk to anyone about it other than God but you just need that sense of peace and meditation time. Normally that is the time that I use before my appointments start. I come into my office and close the door like normal and get my paperwork together and reflect so I can get through my sessions and go home. Not every day is promised to be a good day for us. Today is just one of my not so good days. I have been in prayer and meditation about some things in my life and I know that God is working them out for my good because he promises that he will give me all the desires of my heart if I serve him and keep his commandments. Keep his commandments.. Wow.. That is a challenge. It is not that you do not want to but some days are easier than others especially when you feel that the weight of the world is on your shoulders. I just have those moments where I do not want to talk or be bothered and it seems like that is when everybody else has something to say ALL THE TIME. You do not want to be rude but my facial expressions seem to tell you exactly what I am thinking at all times. Well my day can only get better because it sure can not get any worse. Until next time my loves...

God Speaks But Do We Always Listen

I was reading an article online that says God will speak to us in terms we can understand or ways that will get our attention best. It says that sometimes when God is trying to get us to understand something it could come in terms of a verse almost jumping off a page to get our attention or things like that. I have been praying about a certain situation for a while now and this morning I got an e mail containing a Bible verse that basically answered the question I had been asking all along. Maybe God was just waiting for a time when I would understand him better or feel at peace with it and could accept what he was saying because when I read the verse it was like a light bulb came on. I mean it was just that clear but since I read the verse the devil must know that I am on the right path because I have gotten all kinds of emails saying exactly the opposite of what the verse said but who are you going to listen to, the Bible or some random person online. I mean really. Although the situation is scary because it is such a big life decision I feel at peace with what I want. When I get a verse like that I like to go and read the whole Chapter because we can take things out of context in the Bible and just make them what we want but this time the chapter fits perfectly. When a Word is sent from God it will align with what is going on in your life and there ya go. All said and done. Right now I can not reveal what the situation is but in time I will give my testimony WHEN it comes to pass. Notice I said WHEN and not IF.

I Feel Like a Question Mark

There are some days I wake up and I just feel all over the place. Today is one of those days. I do not know how to feel, what to say, just feel drained. Part of me just wants to go back home and get back in the bed and get up and try it all over again but the other part knows that this could just all be a test of my faith and if I give in, I am letting the devil win. There are so many things on my mind right now that have just left me overwhelmed. Part of me wishes that I could just curl up on the sofa with my favorite blanket and just cry. I wish there were someone that I could talk to that I felt would understand but right now I just do not feel the need to even be bothered. I hate it when I feel this way!!!!

Love is

First official post of the New Year and this one seems to be a monster. I was having a conversation with an ex a few weeks ago and he asked me a question that he never just came out and asked before, at least not like that. He said plain and simple "Tomecca, how did you know that you did not love me any more?" Looking like a deer in headlights I assumed he was asking me because the one he is with now must be showing the same signs and symptoms because we have no interest in being together any more so I just listened. I said I just knew. See, the older I got, my requirements in life were different. I wanted something different and stable not only for myself but for my son. When you get older, you start to worry about different things. I no longer had the time to worry about if he was dead or alive, or if he was coming home, who was watching and why, where he was or who he was with. He made sure that I was taken care of but at what cost. I just didn't want to deal with it any more. He has a heart of gold but no matter how good a person may be, sometimes the bad things they do out shine their good. After some silence, he said "what is love to you then if it is not being financially stable?" I could not get my thoughts together and actually I had to really sit down and think about it. I told him it was not that I did not love him while I was with him it was just not the kind of love to build a life upon. Last night through text with someone else I began to think about the question again. Love is when a man loves God and puts that relationship first and is not afraid to share that with you, pray for you, or even pray with you. Love is when a man is at his weariest and gets up to put in extra hours on his job or even gets a second job to make sure the family is taken care of. Love is when he strives to be at his best before he gets with you. Love is knowing all of the silly things that makes a person tick. You can be with a person forever and not know anything about them. I figured this out by asking my ex what my favorite color was or what one of my favorite songs was and after knowing me for almost 10 years, he had no clue. I was reading last night in Ephesians where it says that a wife should submit herself to her husband and then goes on to say that the husband should be the head of the wife as God is the head of the church. Not to quote that whole chapter it then says that a husband should love his wife like he loves his own body. I had my own stuff to figure out so where better to find the answer than in the Bible. I went online to find a detailed information so I would really know what is what and found this: These verses do not mean that a wife is supposed to be a slave to her husband. But the wife needs to submit herself to her husband as a partner in marriage. The husband and wife must be in agreement in order for a marriage to work, and they must learn how to communicate their feelings to each other. A wife should not make an important family decision without submitting it to her husband just as a husband should not make an important decision without considering his wife’s feelings and concerns. Now when I was with my ex that I referenced before, I could have cared less about what he thought if I did something. That did not mean that I did not ask him for opinion purposes but if I wanted to do something then I just did it with no regard for what he wanted or how he felt because that is how he treated me. Love is sacrifice and action, being obedient to Gods word. Love does not have a condition or a standard. You can not say I love him because he bought me a car or I love him because he has a good job. Real love is being able to accept a person for who they are not what they are. Love is when you are truly mad at someone or aggrevated with them or things are not all peachy like they were during the honeymoon phase and you know that person still cares for you and has your best interest at heart and will do anything to protect you whether it is physically or emotionally. Love is letting go of the fear of being hurt. What people fail to understand is that love hurts too but even when love hurts it doesn't leave. Love is beautiful. Love is forgiving..Sometimes we do not realize what love really is until it is too late....